Meant to post this on Friday but never got around to it…..

Goodbye 2010, Hello 2011.  2010 was one of the greatest years out of the great 26 years I’ve had…and I’m so sad that it’s over.  I’m crossing my fingers and toes that 2011 will be at least 1/2 as great!!

Cindy’s Greatest Hits, 2010 edition:  

January

• Ended 2009 in Hawaii with the Kaneshiros
• Started 2010 on a plane to Costa Rica with my parents….had the most fabulous.gorgeous/inspiring/unforgettable 10 day trip around CR.  PURA VIDA!!!!
• Came back to start my final semester in law school
• Spent mine and Randy’s bday weekend in Tahoe at our amazing cabin…with some of our bestest friends
• Went to D.C. with Court, Darren, Dan and Reid - narrowly missed the biggest snowstorm of 2009.  Ate some amazing falafels, and saw some incredible sights.

February

• Went to Seattle with my loves Nay and Joh….lost my camera in our hotel room….then found it again.  

March

• Jay Z Concert!!! Took Reid to see his all time favorite :)
• Spent my LAST spring break EVER going to SD, Mexico, and LA.  Drove down to SD and had the most amazing lobster feast made by Mr. Vu, barely made our cruise to Mexico, had the bessssttt time ever cruising, eating, seeing Cabo, and eating some more.  Made it back to SD to stay with Tommy’s fam (we love you Vu family!), spent an FUN day in Disneyland, stayed with our faves Kev and Josie, and made it back up to the bay just in time for school to start again.

May

• Graduated from law school (Step 1 to becoming a lawyer complete). Made my parents proud and made them feel like I have a future (which they were pretty unsure about until then.
• Went out to Hawaii to enjoy another fabulous week…started my BARBRI studying on the beach eating plate lunch (best possible way ever).

June

• Hello BARBRI.  Hello Stress.  Hello Pimples.
• Brief escape to VEGAS for Crystal’s bachelorette…..WILDNESS ensued.

July

• Cramming like I never crammed before.
• Moved to San Mateo for a week, and took the bar (Step 2 to becoming a lawyer complete).  I will not describe this week in more detail because I’d rather forget it.
• Finished just in time for Crystal & Bao’s fab wedding in the City.  Party of the year award winner for sure!!!

August

• FREEEDDDOMMMMMMMMM!!!!! LOUNGED for 2 weeks.  Did absolutely no thinking, and no hard work.  Got to know my new friend named iPad, which I had gotten for graduation but could not play with yet.
• LADY GAGA!!! I’m officially one of her little monsters.  MONSTER CLAW!
• Off to Asia to meet Bert, Binh, Tommy, Laura, and Moogs.  Partied/Adventured our way through Hong Kong, Thailand, Taiwan, and Vietnam.  Craziest. Trip. Ever.  Some tidbits: Binh’s broken nose in a club in HK, ATVing through the jungle in Thailand, the pretty disturbing lady boys ALL OVER THE PLACE in Thailand, our amazing beachfront resort in Koh Samui, 3 Tsunami’s hitting Taiwan at ONCE, Real vietnamese coffee, real vietnamese people, real vietnamese traffic (and crossing the street), Ha Long Bay (so magical!), saying goodbye to my two Vietnamese brothers :(

September

• Made it back mid-month…took 2 days to do laundry and sleep in my own bed….took off for Europe with Reid.
• London - SO MANY SIGHTS.  Brought me back to ALL those fun times I had studying abroad in London.  Ate fish n chips and saw the older Johanna and met her fab friend Patrick.
• Paris: the most romantic city in the world.  It was my 3rd time in Paris, but my first time being there with the love of my life.  So. Different.  Beautiful sunshine and blue skies everyday, beautiful sights everyday, an amazing boutique hotel….and oh, did I mention…..we got ENGAGED on the Eiffel Tower!!!  One of the most shocking, wonderful, romantic moments I think I will ever experience.  Pure joy :)
• Munich: took the small/expensive overnight train to Munich, get in at 8am.  See the sights, eat some German sausages, head to OKTOBERFEST.  Beer, Sausages, Fries, Tents, Rides, Games…..everything a person could ask for in one contained space.  Totally. Addicted.
• Landed back in the states - drove to Reid’s tux fitting for DOUG AND AIMEE’s wedding.  Had a FANTASTIC time….boy do we love those Richardsons!

October

• WORK WORK WORK!  Made it back to Fenwick for training, and stepped into my big girl shoes.  Was terrified, but instantly remembered why I fell in love with the firm (is such a thing even possible?) when I summered.
• GIANTS WIN THE WORLD SERIES!!!!!!  We made it to game 2 (the last home game).  Expensive, but worth every penny.  We witnessed history!

November

• Continued to work.  
• Passed the bar!!!! The final step to becoming a lawyer complete.  I did it mom and dad :)

December

• Work got crazier, I got my business cards and website bio, I’m officially on my way :)

Well…at least if you’re like me and you define “gangsta” as a chinese girl from sunnyvale who studied her ass for 2 months for the test of her life only to leave the exam thinking there’s a 50% chance she passed…than yea, it feels good to be a gangsta :)

Finally…that long, arduous, painful painful painful two month journey is DONE DONE DONE!!!! All those hours and hours and hours and hours of studying, memorizing, self-doubt, practice exams, MBEs (and Chuck), tears….DONE DONE DONE!!!! Well…at least for now.  As one of my fellow bar-takers exclaimed as we RUSHED into the parking lot, “I FEEL AWESOME THAT WE WON’T HAVE TO DO THIS AGAIN FOR ANOTHER 6 MONTHS!! WOOHOO!!!”  So sad.  We may joke about it, but the fear of that happening?  Definitely real.

But until Nov 19th at 6:00 pm, all we have is hope.  Lots of it.  

Again here I go with the dramatics, but it really has been some of the hardest times in my life.  I can’t even count the moments of sheer terror, when I’d felt like it was hopeless, on my 2 hands.  I mean really…no WONDER lawyers are such “mean” people.  You know how mentally fucked up law school is?  1L year?  Finals?  OCI? and then there’s the BAR…which is like….100 times more fucked up?  Yes, we come out deranged, but blame the system, don’t blame us.

BUT ANYWAYS….here’s the reason I wrote this post.  I just wanted to say THANK YOU to all the people that have supported me the last couple months.  TO all of you who wrote me FB msgs, texted me, called me, sent me chocolate covered strawberries (haha), music, gave me hugs, mailed me cards/letters/emails, took me to dinner, and just showed me plain love.  It was overwhelming.  Amidst all those moments of misery where I wanted to die…I was given plenty of moments where I felt thankful to have everyone in my life, where I felt loved and believed in, and where I felt like there was a reason to go on.  It was definitely the most isolating and lonely time of my life.  But I’ve also never ever felt so special and loved.  

I really really hope that I passed…because not only do I never never want to do that again, but really, because I don’t want to let anyone down.  But I guess until Nov, you can all think I’m great :)

NOW, SOME SPECIAL SHOUTOUTS TO MY PEEPS IN THE BACK….

Lambchop.  OH YEA SON. MY FUZZAH-BEAR! The one upside of Barbri is that I got to spend 20 hours a day with my dog, nonstop.  I’d tell her all my fears, and she’d look back and say “its okay mommy, you just try your hardest and if you fail I’ll love you even more!”  Okay, maybe not.  But that’s what I got from her looking back at my blank-eyed.  Damn, lamb, what would I do without you?

Reid…for being my #1 punching bag, and for only getting a little mad about it.  There were many moments of senseless meanness, and I’m sorry.  But it’ll be worth it, cuz your GF is ONE STEP closer to being a lawyer :)  You are the besssstttt BF ever and I LOOOVE YOU!

Mommy…for letting me absolutely trash your house for the last 2 months and not even giving me dirty looks for it (this is hard for her, you have no idea).  For letting me take over your family room, kitchen, computer room, hallways, bathrooms…etc….as my personal study space.  For letting me throw my 20 barbri books around and then letting me storm around pissed when I couldn’t find one.  You are the bestest :)

Jeff…for using your baller ass Marriott Gold Membership for my free rooms, free breakfast, free snacks & drinks and free wifi for my time this week.  I felt special sitting amongst those nicely dressed business men in the concierge lounge while I wore my sweats and ponytail.  

And everyone else.  Thank you from the bottom of my heart.  This was a hard hard week…and I know I made it through because you were all sending me all your love, positivity, and brain waves.  You are the best, and you make me.  

Now…time for the REAL AND FABULOUS CINDY TO COME BACK!!! After a long nap…ZZzzzzz

…till I me and my destiny meet.  Yes, its dramatic, in the worst kind of korean soap opera-ish way.  But…that’s sort of how I (and many of my fellow bar takers) feel.  It’s been 1 month and a few weeks of feeling this emotional rollercoaster, one day feeling amazing and confident, the next feeling absolutely and helplessly doomed.  Now, 1 week away all I can say is, I need to GET THIS SHIT OVER WITH ALREADY AND GET ON WITH MY LIFE.  It has been so isolating, emotional, psychological, terrifying, and painful.  And no one, nope, no one, will ever understand what its been like unless you’ve gone through it. It’s like giving birth to a 11 lb baby out of your vaj…you’ve heard about the pain…you heard it can be hard….some people even pass out during the process….but until you’ve gone through it personally, you just don’t know (which I don’t).

I’m a firm believer in jinxes…and I might totally be jinxing myself by saying this (god i hope not)…but I fully plan on passing this, because to have to put myself through this again? It. Would. Be. Horrific.  My little heart can only take so much.  So after all this heart wrenching language…what do I have to say to myself and to my fellow July 2010 CA bar exam takers??

WE ARE STRONG.  WE ARE MENTALLY TOUGH ENOUGH.  WE KNOW ALL WE NEED TO KNOW.  Now handle your biz, cuz once is enough.

Dear Canon SD630,

I’m sorry our relationship will have to end soon…I know…last night was just the last straw for you.  But no matter what happens, I hope you never regret our relationship.  Me and you lasted longer than any of my other relationships, and really, it has to do with you.  You were strong, resilient, would take on any situation, any careless photographer, any sloppy handover.  You’ve made it around the world with me, gone ziplining in Costa Rica, jet skiing in Mexico, Vegas at least…7 times, and probably every club/bar/lounge in the bay area.  You’ve done it all, and I’m proud to have known you.  Every time you were dropped onto hard concrete or into puddles of alcohol or water, I know you considered leaving me, but you never did…you’d always sputter back to life within 5-10 minutes - you are such a trooper.  And I know, things were rough when Nikon DSLR came into the picture (haha!), yes, he’s bigger and more macho, and such a superstar. But you were my rock, the one I could rely on for anything.  Nikon and his diva ways…well, he’ll never see what you’ve seen.  So - here’s to you Canon.  Our 3 and a half years together were so good, and I’ll miss you.  Even when I get Canon2 who looks just like you, I assure you no one will ever be you. 

Love, Cindy

The love of my life - besides my BF of course.  FUZZZAHHHHHH